I call it “Supercilious Sally”.
A politically motivated piece that I couldn’t help but create.
Just for little Sally. Feel free to circulate it. In fact, I encourage you too.
While researching Supercilious Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern of District 84, I found this video from the Ellen DeGeneres Show (one of my favorites). In the video Ellen calls Supercilious Sally about a recording of her saying that homosexuals have ruined several societies and that the United States is next. Definitely worth a listen/view. You won’t believe what you’re hearing.
If you’re from Oklahoma, I’m sure you’ll experience the same compilation of embarrassment, disgust and shock that I experienced while listening to her comments. If you’re not from Oklahoma, please understand that Supercilious Sally does not represent our state, regardless of her title. All I can say is every state has one. Ours just really likes to hear herself talk. So much so, that she got herself recorded just so she can play it back at whim.
P.S. It’s a good thing I plan to stop by her office since according to the video her voicemail box is full.
P.S.S. I’m most certain that once upon a time, little Sally kissed a girl, and she liked it.
FOX Sports radio host Peter Burns breaks down all 30 NBA teams with a twist. Instead of going through paragraphs of explanations about how each team is currently, he explains each team in a manner that anyone can understand.
Nuggets = The girl that got dumped, spent 3 months in the gym & showed up looking fine as hell at Spring Break.
Knicks = Skank that broke up a relationship then once she got her man, packed on 20 pounds & wants to stay in every night
Spurs = Faithful chick that cooks the same meals, wears the same outfits, but knows how to do that kinky thing you like
Heat = Stripper that drives the Vette back to her apartment where the cable is out because she couldn’t pay the bill.
Mavericks = Hot Bimbo that you take to the Pool Party who hits on every other guy, then pukes & passes out on ride home
Cavaliers = Chick who still blames her ex for driving her to Camels & shoeless visits to Walmart, but keeps his picture up in the trailer
Celtics = Cougar that shows up at $1 You Call It Night near campus then does things to do you that your Frat buddies don’t believe.
Thunder = Cute girl in class that never talks, makes straight A’s, wears glasses, and you hope finally grows out of that A Cup bra.
Clippers = Chick who lives in an apartment in the rich part of town, looks crappy 6 days a week, but that 1 night…..damnnn.
Suns = Washed up bartender that was hot 8 years ago, holding on to the glory days before the bad roots and melanoma.
Rockets = Wheelchair bound girl that you’d might actually take out just to check it off the bucket list, and get good parking to games.
Jazz = Girl that makes you meet her parents before the 1st date. Has a Piano in the living room, and gives the ass out hug at end of night
Nets = Girl you always clowned, but you just found out her parents died leaving her a ton of cash. You’ll poke her on Facebook.
Trailblazers = Girl that went away to rehab, appears to be doing better, but every time you see her now she has some type of cast on
Grizzlies = Chunky girl at the bar that plays the Solitaire all night hoping for some guy to have his 7th shot of Jager and go Slumpbusting
Kings = Chick who still drives the ‘92 BMW that her parents bought before they got sued for an illegal pyramid scheme. 6 Visible Tattoos.
Hornets =Chick you took on a mercy date because your parents knew she was going through a rough time. She stole silverware from Red Lobster
76ers = Chick that hasn’t washed her hair in a few days, smells like cheese, hairspray & regret. She sells your buddies really bad weed.
Raptors = Skinny girl that chain smokes, listens to Ke$ha, and makes out with her friends. She uses the phrase “Sunday Funday” 4x a week.
Bulls = Girl that takes charge. Tells you what time to pick you up, where you are taking her to dinner, and what position to assume.
Pacers =Girl that constantly sends you Farmville invites, posts stuff on facebook like “Having the worst DAY” hoping for people to ask why
Pistons = Chick that was in and out of Juvy. Owns a $145 Softball bat, and has Pantera & K.D Lang back to back on her Ipod.
Lakers = Snobby former child beauty pageant winner. She’s heir to the 2000 flushes fortune. You want to hate her, but she too damn fine.
Timberwolves = Chick who once she came out of the womb was born to be an bitchy accountant, owns 7 cats, and is excellent at Monopoly.
Warriors = Old wrinkly lady that lives 6 houses down, you’re floored when neighbors say that she used to be a Playboy bunny back in the day
Wizards = Emo girl that has headphones on everytime you see her. She claims to be anti-establishment, but you know her parents work for IBM
Hawks = Chick that bought a used 300M, then took decals off so people think it’s a Bentley. She often fights chicks at Denny’s after club
Bucks = You’ve had a class w/ this girl for 7 years. Never said a word to her, probably because she’s 240 pounds & smells like Pat Summitt
Magic = Girl that you know you should probably marry, but everytime you go out she wears a damn sweater & looks like hell without makeup on
Bobcats = Chick you hooked up with once. It was a Tuesday, it was cold, & you just watched 3 hours of Cinemax. She’s texted 11 times.